Being a single Mumma definitely comes with its own set of challenges, especially on certain days of the year such as Mother’s Day when there is added pressure and emotional challenges.
As a single mum for the last ten years I’ve learnt a thing or two about how to navigate these challenges and actually turn it around to make it a pleasant and enjoyable day reminding yourself it’s all about celebrating you!
Here is my Survival guide to get through the day!
FREE SEPARATION Checklist, the sites you MUST know when navigating through separation! Fill in your details to receive this and more via email. Links to template, government support and LOADS more!
From one single Mumma to another..
1. SPOIL Yourself
As Mums’ it almost becomes second nature to put yourself last! Use this day as an opportunity to celebrate yourself, your journey as a mum and all the extra things you have to do especially as a single mum. Put aside housework and chores today. If your kids are younger, plan something you enjoy doing with them! Going to YOUR favorite café, staying home in pj’s watching your favourite movie etc. They also need to know that today is about you!
2. Ask, Ask, Ask!
Again as Mums’, we become so resistant to asking for help and set unrealistic expectations for ourselves to be superwoman!!! (In my eyes all mums’ are superwoman but you don’t have to be this everyday). Reach out for support to your network as it is tough doing it on your own. This could be asking someone to help your kids plan a Mother’s day surprise for you so the kids don’t miss out on this opportunity to give you appreciation and it also prepares them as they get older to think of ideas for themselves. My son who is ten now, plans his own Mother’s day surprises for me!
3. Hang out with other Single Mum’s
Going out on Mother’s day without the traditional family unit can be daunting and bring up some big emotions. If you feel this especially in the early days – there are many groups for single mums and single parents eg on meetup and facebook (The Separation Exchange!) that organise days out on occasions like Mother’s Day so you don’t have to do it alone! It could also be a fun way to meet others on a similar journey that “get it”.
4. Do it for yourself!
If you had the ideal partner, what would you want them to do for you? Buy you flowers? Take you out for a nice dinner/lunch, Gift you a cleaner for half a day? Buy you a day spa voucher? Think of this and do it for yourself! This way you are raising your vibration to attract this into your life and in the meantime enjoying the gifts you are giving yourself.
5. FEEL it!
Allow yourself to feel all the feels. I feel there is a lot of hype and commercialism around Mother’s day that can actually make you feel worse as a single mum! Remind yourself it is just another day and you don’t have to fit into any box. You are special every single day and your kids love you everyday for being you! Giving yourself the space to feel sad, angry, frustrated – It is all valid – vent to a friend, write it out or dance it out. Suppressing the feelings will only linger them.
6. Consider ALONE time?
Spend some time alone maybe when the kids are asleep, sip your favourite tea or glass of wine and write out all the things you acknowledge yourself for! You will be surprised at how long this list can get and stick it somewhere visible.
Disclaimer: The content of this blog is general information only and is not provided as a substitute for legal/professional advice. If you have a legal/financial/ any other issue, you should contact a lawyer and/or professional before making a decision about your options or personal situation. TheSeparationExchange.com cannot provide legal/professional advice.
Sunita Pamamull, Founder of Holistic Women’s Therapy and Mindful Mumma Holistic Living (a holistic lifestyle programme for mums).
Mum to a gorgeous boy, Sunita is a trained Transpersonal Counsellor and Holistic Health and Wellbeing Mentor. Her passion is to empower mums to connect to their authenticity and live life at their most optimal wellbeing
Christmas Discussions: Christmas or any holidays post separation can be excruciating, especially when it is FRESH! Some have it lucky and may breeze through it however most may agree with me, that it is EMOTIONAL. The first Christmas Post-Separation was excruciating!...read more
JUST Separated?What now? What options do you have to formalise your separation so that you can officially move forward? You need to choose the right option for you and at the right time. For me, once my ex made his intentions clear (he wanted to explore a future with...read more