OK, so during such a potentially HORRID time your MOJO maybe the LAST thing on your mind but perhaps understanding that your MOJO is part of YOU may help put more focus on the topic?
YOU need to be OK, before other things fall into place (least that is my experience). You may be tired of the crying over your situation and the feeling of “I don’t know how to move forward” or “how did I get here?”. You may be angry about the place you are at because it is NOT what you planned for! BUT if you are at this place (separation), at some point you will need to choose to move on and move forward (hopefully).
MOJO, What is it?!
There are many definitions documented however on Urban Dictionary it is defined as: “Self-confidence, Self-assured. As in basis for belief in ones’ self in a situation. “*
We may have lost our MOJO before the “Separation” and maybe it happened during. We can only change the future, so let’s start at trying to get it BACK! Let’s break it down to the following 3 MOJO areas:
1. Your “Inner” MOJO
2. Your “Physical” MOJO
3. “Naughty Intimate” MOJO
1. Your “Inner” MOJO
Beginning with YOU on the inside is what I mean!
One of my most favourite quotes!
During my time of turmoil after the first few months of separation I found that until I made the decision to sink or swim, I wasn’t getting far! Whatever I tried to seemed too hard or a major drama, or just plain overwhelming because I felt so alone. So, I took a few days where I dropped the kids to kinder or school and just focused on coming to the decision of swimming. The reality was that I had to two young kids who relied on me while my ex went to find himself and start his new life (so was there really a choice?)
- MAKE the decision to move forward.
- Setup a plan that involves high level steps and priorities so that they are doable. How?
- Listening to music
- YOU time walks on beach
- Spending time with people the refuel your vibe NOT consume
- Learning to be alone after being with someone for a along time may take time, so take it step by step
- Plan time away with friends for something to look forward to remove the monotony of life
2. Your “Physical” MOJO
Your physical vibe may have taken the back seat due to other priorities such as learning how to get out of bed when your world is crashing around you! BUT, refocusing on getting out and exercising may help! SO, begin NEW things.
For someone who had barely left their kids with anyone pre-separation, this is daunting and scary. Staying alone at night for the first few months was scary and lonely. What do you do with the time that you are not prepping for the week ahead when you work full time? When you have finished cooking ahead or completed all the other boring chores? I took up boxing. This gave me a emotional and physical outlet and also provided me with opportunities to make NEW friends!
I had a to fill a WHOLE weekend of lonely kid free time.
- Start something NEW
- Make new friends
- Doing things to make yourself feel in control
- A new hair cut/makeup done/something indulgent
- Revamp your STYLE vibe, consider going SHOPPING?
- Some people cut their hair, some go on diets, so go crazy on ASOS (ME!) but this can be liberating and be in line with 1 +2. I lost A LOT of weight as part of the anxiety I suffered with separation so I had to purchase new clothes! (least that was my excuse!)
3. “Naughty/Intimate” MOJO
OK the timing for this point is so different for each person! But perhaps doing 1+2 may naturally progress you to 3!? Maybe? Dating not only creates a new circle of friends it can also create a distraction while you get thru this upheaval. Dating could also bring on more complications, so the option to consider or dive into this is purely personal!!
Are you READY to date?! (You may want to check out a recent blog about this)
- Dating may re-invigorate another type of MOJO! Enjoy the journey :) You may need to kiss a few frogs to get to a prince or even someone worth spending time with BUT it may be worth it. Or maybe you can just learn how to flirt again!?
Disclaimer: The content of this blog is general information only and is not provided as a substitute for legal/professional advice. If you have a legal/financial/ any other issue, you should contact a lawyer and/or professional before making a decision about your options or personal situation. TheSeparationExchange.com cannot provide legal/professional advice.
My name is Anju, after going through a “surprise” separation and divorce was a rebirth which awakened me!
After a period of sadness and struggle, revealed a person who was forced to sort her shi# out and find the strength needed to raise 2 young kids without a partner! And so, a new journey began with new dreams: www.TheSeparationExchange.com
What does a divorce coach do?At a time when you are more stressed about money than you’ve ever been, why would you add the cost of someone called a Divorce Coach to your ever-growing list of financial obligations? You have close friends and family, what other support...read more
Home is where your heart is…Figuring out the living arrangements post separation is quite emotional. They say that home is where the heart is, however what happens when your heart is broken? What happens when all your dreams of creating a family are now fractured?...read more