Going through a separation is tough. Going through a separation that is not amicable is even tougher!
Emotions are running high and on top of dealing with the grief from the end of a relationship there are so many other things going on- lawyers, finances, child-care arrangements. Overall your life is being run through a washing machine until things finally settle and you find your new way of being.This interim period however is so critical for you and your children’s well being. It is vital that you look after yourself and know your boundaries to prevent burnout and emotional exhaustion.
As a holistic counsellor and health practitioner I always believe in the “prevention is better than cure” approach.
Here are a few tips protect your energetic space:
Plan time for yourself:
When you know you are going to have an interaction that may not be pleasant, keep some time aside before and after it.
- visualise a white light around you that’s protecting you along with some deep breathing exercises
- this will help you feel more calm and centered.
- take some time out for yourself before rushing back to your busy schedule especially if you have kids waiting for you
- do a ritual like washing your hands or walking barefoot, so it’s like a physical sign that you are releasing the energy from that interaction and not carrying it with you.
This may be the last thing on your mind when going through a difficult separation, in between seeing lawyers, financial advisors and the whole list of things to do as well as staying emotionally resilient. Take some time out for self care: whether it be a daily walk in fresh air, meditation, yoga class, dance class or night out with friends. This will allow you to clear your head space and allow you to separate yourself from the situation for a while.
Daily affirmations/Listening to guided meditations:
This will build up your emotional resilience. Some examples are:
- I am guided
- I am supported
- I am loved
Saying these affirmations morning and night with one hand on your heart, one on your solar plexus and eyes closed. You will really start to feel it and believe it after some time.
This is a tricky one :
- visualise your higher self
- speaking to the other persons’ higher self: the energy exchange will dramatically shift. If you are standing in your power they will pick up on this. By looking at someone in positive regard and sending them vibes of healing you can actually take any power away they may have over you.
Be kind to yourself:
There will be times when you lose your bearings but that is OK. Outbursts are sometimes needed and a form of releasing built up anger. Don’t beat yourself over it, know that there is always another day and you are human.
Reach out to family and friends for support:
Especially if you are not in the best shape for your kids. You will be surprised how many people are willing to help you – you just have to get better at asking. Ask for what you need specifically – meals, a coffee, a chat, a hug, someone to look after the kids for a few hours so you can take some time out for yourself.
If you are really struggling seek the help of a professional, someone that resonates with you : healers, counsellors therapists. There are also some natural remedies to reduce anxiety/stress – covered in another blog.
Disclaimer: The content of this blog is general information only and is not provided as a substitute for legal/professional advice. If you have a legal/financial/ any other issue, you should contact a lawyer and/or professional before making a decision about your options or personal situation. TheSeparationExchange.com cannot provide legal/professional advice.
ABOUT the Blogger:
Sunita Pamamull, Founder of Holistic Women’s Therapy and Mindful Mumma Holistic Living (a holistic lifestyle programme for mums).
Mum to a gorgeous boy, Sunita is a trained Transpersonal Counsellor and Holistic Health and Wellbeing Mentor. Her passion is to empower mums to connect to their authenticity and live life at their most optimal wellbeing
A perspective:There seem to be an abundance of channels online supporting and servicing Single Mums. So, we thought it would be timely to start seeing things from a Separated dad’s perspective. Without educating the impacts of Separation for both Men and Women,...
The Stigma:Navigating through the Court system during one of the most stressful times of your life is difficult enough, there are affidavits to write, documents to find and where after all those years did you put your marriage certificate! To add to this stress, you...