WHO are they? What do they do?
If you have no idea what a divorce coach is – you aren’t alone. Divorce coaching as a profession is still relatively new across the world and even newer to Australia.
So how can working with a divorce coach help you? Here are 7 ways a coach can make your separation journey a little easier.
How can a divorce coach help me?!
1. A coach can help save you money.
Lawyers are expensive (I should know, I am one!). When emotions are high, a conflict can escalate quickly and so to, the legal fees. But, there are lots of ways you can minimise your legal costs – and a coach can work through these with you. Some of those ways are practical – like being well prepared for calls and meetings with your lawyer, communicating effectively and doing as much as you can to give your lawyer what they need.
Many clients’ contact their lawyer with questions that aren’t really legal questions. A coach can be the person called on when a client needs to talk something through, so they are in a position to give clear, considered direction to their lawyer. Time is money for lawyers, so anything you can do to save them time on your file, will reduce your costs.
2. A coach can help you minimise conflict.
Most people going through a separation want to avoid the arguing and angst. They want to move through the process quickly and on to starting a new chapter in their life. Even if your former partner is the most difficult person in the world, coaching can help you with tools and strategies to communicate better with your ex and cope better with their behaviour. Coaching can also help you understand yourself, your triggers and your conflict style (and the same about your ex) to help your relationship with your ex moving forward.
3. A coach can help you move forward faster!
The role of a coach is to encourage you to look at the big picture and focus forward rather than get bogged down in the process. Little things can become big things in a separation – which can draw it out. With coaching you will work on being your best self and getting clear on your goals and priorities. These tools help you “pick your battles” and move on more quickly.
4. A coach can help you maintain your sanity.
Knowing you have someone in your corner, who is non-judgmental but at the same time impartial can be really valuable. A coach is a sounding board and a thinking partner. They can provide support and guidance through the stress and overwhelm. They also will help you focus on taking care of yourself during the process.
5. A coach can help you make better decisions.
It’s easy in a process you are unfamiliar with, to make decisions early on, which set the tone for your whole break-up. Having support early in the process can help you avoid making mistakes – which often have long term consequences. Coaching through the process can also help you deal with your feelings and avoid the risk of making overly emotional decisions.
6. A coach can refer you to other professionals and support.
A coach is only one person in a team of people supporting you through a separation. Most coaches will have “a little black book” of professionals who they can refer you to and an awareness of community organisations (for example who specialise in domestic violence support) who can also help. Drawing on their connections saves you time having to research these yourself.
7. A coach can direct you to other resources.
There is no shortage of information on the internet about separation and divorce, however it is not all “good” information. Depending on the background and training of the coach, they will be able to direct you to the most useful information and resources to help you through the process. Those resources might be about the legal process or more generally about topics like managing conflict and supporting your children through the process.
Disclaimer: The content of this blog is general information only and is not provided as a substitute for legal/professional advice. If you have a legal/financial/ any other issue, you should contact a lawyer and/or professional before making a decision about your options or personal situation. TheSeparationExchange.com cannot provide legal/professional advice.
Prudence is a certified divorce coach and has over 14 years’ experience as a family lawyer. In her role as a coach, she specialises in helping working mums feel supported, calm and confident as they navigate the practical and emotional challenges of a relationship break-up. You can connect with her at www.prudencehenschke.com
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